The Comparison Trap
It's happened more than most of us would like to admit - someone else gets the gig we thought was meant for us. Someone else receives attention from the person we're into. Someone else is "better looking" and just appears to have a fuller life than us, so we find ourselves months deep into their Instagram feeds and caught up in the comparison trap.
The comparison trap is the place where we put up our weaknesses against another's strengths, of course always coming up short. For some reason, it's also the place where we completely overlook the fact that others usually only allow us to see their wins. The longer we wallow in this trap, the more we heighten a sense inadequacy within us. It's a surefire way to shake our confidence, create separation with others and ultimately rob ourselves of joy - nothing more.
Some of us have even compared ourselves to friends, friends we truly hold dear to our hearts. That depletes us even more because we start to feel shame for even having these sentiments at all toward someone we endear. All shame does is make us feel small. Add that to the already existing resentment, lack of confidence and lack of joy and it's safe to say we end up in the dumps.
As always, acknowledging our patterns is the portal to breaking them. Being in this awareness allows us to challenge those thoughts and create a new reality for ourselves. That stuff we see in others is a reflection of the stuff we see in ourselves so lets look for the light. Lets send them love even, especially when we don't want to and express gratitude for those gifts we are fortunate enough to possess. Making that our focus is how we make room to receive. A mentality rooted in scarcity constantly feels threatened, but one rooted in abundance knows there's enough to go around for all of us and that if we don't have it yet, we're capable of getting it in the right time.
There's such a wonderful opportunity to breed a deeper connection when this happens with a friend. The honesty in expressing our feelings brings us together and offers us reassurance of our love and genuine intentions for each other. We may even be surprised to find out they've had similar sentiments and here's where that shame can be transmuted into relief, because shame disappears when it's exposed.
No one likes to talk about these feelings because we associate them as low but what they are is real, so lets heal them. May we always remember that what's for us will never miss us so there's never a reason to compete, there’s only a reason to love. Comment below and let me know how this served you.